I'm going to be very honest with you in this blog in that I HATE these days and I HATE what Autism has robbed my little boy of!
I'm also going to be honest in that it doesn't make me feel better to have people tell me "it'll be ok," "look at what he can do and not what he can't do," or "God chooses special parents for special children," or "you need to accept him for the way he is." These comments make me feel worse because it reiterates to me that those that are usually saying these comments are those with neuro-typical children.
I am not a special parent...I'm just a parent that does what I need to do for my child. That's not "special", that's called "love."
I refuse to "accept" that he can't communicate or how aggressive he is. I should not be expected to accept these things, which is why we are choosing to have him in various therapies and attend school so that we can hopefully work past these issues even if it's just a little. If I was accepting this, to me that means I am giving up hope for what he may be able to do in the future.
Every single day, I do look at what "he can do", but it's very hard not to see the things "he can't do" when it is right in front of me all the time. It's conference time right now for many schools, and parents are hearing and sharing about how awesome and smart their children are. I am trying so hard to be happy for those people and to remember that it's not their or my fault that our children are different...but deep down, I do still have feelings of resentment. I have to look at the things "he can do" every day, just because that is what gets us through the day. I try to brag him up as much as I can either through the blog or my FB comments, so on these type of days, I can look back and read the great things he can do to help me through another bad day. If I didn't look at the things "he can do", then I wouldn't know what to work on with him every day and we wouldn't be seeing the little bits of progress every once in awhile out of him.
Who the heck knows if "it will be ok"? Not a single person in this world can give him any kind of prognosis for the future. The books and doctors say "try this or that", but then they follow with "it doesn't work for every child or even sometimes the majority of the children." Hmmmm....
So the point of this post is just to let me get out my grief for the day. I don't expect comments, and definitely don't want to be told how I should feel or anything like that. What I really, really, really want...well, I'm not even going to go there! But I'm sure you can definitely guess!
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
Helen Keller
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
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Autism and Our Family
"Autism"----It's one word that can change the life of a child and family in so many ways. Autism Spectrum Disorders are being diagnosed at a rate of 1 in 68 children currently. If you do not already know someone that has been diagnosed, the statistics say it won't be long before you do.
Our son developed typically until around the time he turned 2 years old. We heard words...we saw him play with other kids...we watched as he played with his toys appropriately...we made eye contact with him...overall we understood his wants and needs. In a matter of a few months, that was all taken away from him. He began lining up toys, lost all of his words and signs except for one word "ball", ignored other kids, could not sleep through the night, lost eye contact and the ability to follow directions, and he had no way of letting us know what he wanted or how he felt. It was heartbreaking to see something happening to our child that we couldn't stop!
Brycen began receiving home therapy 1-2 times per month for about 6 months before we realized it wasn't just developmental delays. We knew it was Autism...we just didn't want to say it outloud to anyone. He was officially diagnosed with Autism (classic form and regressive), as well as Mental Retardation in August 2009 by the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.
We continue to learn as we make our way through this journey with Brycen and we will continue to share this journey with you on this blog! The blog has been a great therapy for us to be able to vent our frustrations and struggles with accepting that we have a child with special needs, while sharing how blessed we are to have a child teach us what life truly means. It has also been a great way to inform others of his progress and changes over the last couple of years.
Thank you for your support of Brycen and our family! We hope you are able to learn something through this blog no matter if you are a parent of a child with special needs or a neurotypical child, a teacher or therapist, a family member, or just someone that is interested in the journey that a family goes on as they learn their child is battling a life-long disorder.
Our son developed typically until around the time he turned 2 years old. We heard words...we saw him play with other kids...we watched as he played with his toys appropriately...we made eye contact with him...overall we understood his wants and needs. In a matter of a few months, that was all taken away from him. He began lining up toys, lost all of his words and signs except for one word "ball", ignored other kids, could not sleep through the night, lost eye contact and the ability to follow directions, and he had no way of letting us know what he wanted or how he felt. It was heartbreaking to see something happening to our child that we couldn't stop!
Brycen began receiving home therapy 1-2 times per month for about 6 months before we realized it wasn't just developmental delays. We knew it was Autism...we just didn't want to say it outloud to anyone. He was officially diagnosed with Autism (classic form and regressive), as well as Mental Retardation in August 2009 by the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.
We continue to learn as we make our way through this journey with Brycen and we will continue to share this journey with you on this blog! The blog has been a great therapy for us to be able to vent our frustrations and struggles with accepting that we have a child with special needs, while sharing how blessed we are to have a child teach us what life truly means. It has also been a great way to inform others of his progress and changes over the last couple of years.
Thank you for your support of Brycen and our family! We hope you are able to learn something through this blog no matter if you are a parent of a child with special needs or a neurotypical child, a teacher or therapist, a family member, or just someone that is interested in the journey that a family goes on as they learn their child is battling a life-long disorder.
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