I bake when I am stressed. I know our lives have been stressful the last few weeks with all the changes so I understand why I wanted to bake yesterday, but why did I feel this urge to continue baking today?! I had already completed a triple batch of homemade blueberry muffins and am finishing up a triple batch of peanut butter cookies when it finally hit me. Today is the 2 year "anniversary" of Brycen's initial diagnosis.
TWO YEARS?! Has it really been that long since I took Brycen to CHSC to meet with them about my suspicions? Has it really been two years since I heard "Autism Spectrum Disorder" in the same sentence as my son's name? That day will always be etched in my memory. I took Brycen out to dinner afterwards for a "date" at Fazolis after calling Mike to report the outcome. I drove the 1hr 15 minute drive home with Brycen, occasionally crying after calling my parents. I remember questioning if I was strong enough to do this and of course the obvious "why?" The dream that we had for our child to grow up, play sports, go to college, get married, have a family of his own (all if he wanted to of course) was shattered.
Now, I still question "why" every once in awhile but not nearly as much. I still cry every once in awhile, but not nearly as much. I still wonder if I am strong enough to do this, but not nearly as much. You see, Mike and I are the type of parents that aren't going to give up. Autism is a word that helps Brycen get services to help him with his deficit in many areas. That does not mean he is any less of my son than the day he was born. He was a planned pregnancy, one that we looked forward to, and for some reason we were chosen to be his parents and to help him fight this. We do what we need to so he is happy, as healthy as can be, and succeeding in this world in his own way.
It took us awhile after this day to realize that we have a different dream for our son now. Just because it's different, does not mean it's any less of a dream. "Success" is different for everyone. Some consider graduating from college a success...or making 6 figure salary a success...or having 4 healthy children. Brycen's success will more than likely not be these things, but his success will be based on hard work that both I and many of those who have the ability to read this blog will never understand or experience. His success in this world will teach all of us that having Autism does not make him any less of a person, but will instead teach us not to take things for granted and to cherish the "little" things in life that make us happy! I consider my life a "success" already because of the fact that I was chosen to be his mother and to go through this journey with him every step of the way.
FYI: I am not sure how else to describe it besides "anniversary" but typically this word is used in celebration of something. Despite how far we have come in the last two years, I will never CELEBRATE Autism. I recognize it...I encourage awareness through our annual walk...but I will never CELEBRATE the fact that Autism took away so many things from my son.
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
Helen Keller
Friday, June 17, 2011
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Autism and Our Family
"Autism"----It's one word that can change the life of a child and family in so many ways. Autism Spectrum Disorders are being diagnosed at a rate of 1 in 68 children currently. If you do not already know someone that has been diagnosed, the statistics say it won't be long before you do.
Our son developed typically until around the time he turned 2 years old. We heard words...we saw him play with other kids...we watched as he played with his toys appropriately...we made eye contact with him...overall we understood his wants and needs. In a matter of a few months, that was all taken away from him. He began lining up toys, lost all of his words and signs except for one word "ball", ignored other kids, could not sleep through the night, lost eye contact and the ability to follow directions, and he had no way of letting us know what he wanted or how he felt. It was heartbreaking to see something happening to our child that we couldn't stop!
Brycen began receiving home therapy 1-2 times per month for about 6 months before we realized it wasn't just developmental delays. We knew it was Autism...we just didn't want to say it outloud to anyone. He was officially diagnosed with Autism (classic form and regressive), as well as Mental Retardation in August 2009 by the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.
We continue to learn as we make our way through this journey with Brycen and we will continue to share this journey with you on this blog! The blog has been a great therapy for us to be able to vent our frustrations and struggles with accepting that we have a child with special needs, while sharing how blessed we are to have a child teach us what life truly means. It has also been a great way to inform others of his progress and changes over the last couple of years.
Thank you for your support of Brycen and our family! We hope you are able to learn something through this blog no matter if you are a parent of a child with special needs or a neurotypical child, a teacher or therapist, a family member, or just someone that is interested in the journey that a family goes on as they learn their child is battling a life-long disorder.
Our son developed typically until around the time he turned 2 years old. We heard words...we saw him play with other kids...we watched as he played with his toys appropriately...we made eye contact with him...overall we understood his wants and needs. In a matter of a few months, that was all taken away from him. He began lining up toys, lost all of his words and signs except for one word "ball", ignored other kids, could not sleep through the night, lost eye contact and the ability to follow directions, and he had no way of letting us know what he wanted or how he felt. It was heartbreaking to see something happening to our child that we couldn't stop!
Brycen began receiving home therapy 1-2 times per month for about 6 months before we realized it wasn't just developmental delays. We knew it was Autism...we just didn't want to say it outloud to anyone. He was officially diagnosed with Autism (classic form and regressive), as well as Mental Retardation in August 2009 by the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.
We continue to learn as we make our way through this journey with Brycen and we will continue to share this journey with you on this blog! The blog has been a great therapy for us to be able to vent our frustrations and struggles with accepting that we have a child with special needs, while sharing how blessed we are to have a child teach us what life truly means. It has also been a great way to inform others of his progress and changes over the last couple of years.
Thank you for your support of Brycen and our family! We hope you are able to learn something through this blog no matter if you are a parent of a child with special needs or a neurotypical child, a teacher or therapist, a family member, or just someone that is interested in the journey that a family goes on as they learn their child is battling a life-long disorder.
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