Rough week...time to reflect

The last week has been so stressful for everyone in this house! While things are going better with Aubree now that she is not in pain, Brycen just doesn't have the capability to process all the change that is going on. Not only did he have multiple days off of school, but both sets of grandparents visited within a week, Aubree broke her leg, and his whole daily routine was pretty much thrown out the window despite all attempts from us to keep it as similar as possible.
The things that Brycen seemed to enjoy before all of this such as leaving for school in the morning, eating, getting ready for baths...they have all become a struggle in the last week. Over the last couple days since it has just been the 4 of us again, we have determined the biggest change for him is having visitors at the house. Don't get me wrong, he LOVES his grandparents so much, but when we go weeks of it just being the 4 of us and then out of the blue we have one or more extra people in the house for days, he just can't adjust to that. I think it is hard on typical people to adjust to other's visiting for days, but for Brycen, even if it is people he knows and enjoys, a good change can still be so life changing for him and he just can't find the balance of it all.
The part that I am struggling with is that sometimes we can't predict what is going to happen (obviously meaning Aubree breaking her leg and not being able to ride in a car with the cast) and therefore we cannot prepare Brycen for the change. I pride myself on keeping his days as routine as possible and to be prepared for as much as possible, but unfortunately Mommy just couldn't predict this change. Most children would just learn to adapt to the change because they are not given a choice and may have a couple temper tantrums in the process, but in Brycen's case that is not possible and the temper tantrums are not temporary or short-lived. I am still grasping the fact that he does not have the capabilities in his brain to process change so suddenly and to adapt to what others need. This just reiterates to me once again that Autism just takes over your world, your family, your thoughts, your feelings...it's nothing we asked for and of course it is nobody's fault, but these are the days and weeks where we question "why". Whereas other disorders or medical needs can be helped with medication, children grow out of, or only affect one or very few parts of a family or child's life, Autism is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for a life time. I hear people say to "walk in their shoes" or "live in their house" for sometime to see what their life is like...honestly, I don't want anyone to have to walk in my shoes or live in my house to see what goes on because I do not wish on ANYBODY what Autism requires of me. Just because you may work 40 hours a week with a child with Autism or you have read many books or taken many courses, nothing prepares you for your life being taken over by this disorder. Others go home after a few hours with him, don't deal with the lack of sleep, the financial stress of paying for evaluations and ongoing therapies, the unwanted advice, the many hours of researching medications to help alleviate one or more symptoms, the ongoing IEP meetings and conferences to discuss your child's goals, the guilt that you could do more to help him or enroll him in more therapy, the strain of not being able to work full-time anymore because no daycare could care for him and keep him safe, having to research special needs trusts for when our time comes to leave this world, the constant grieving process that seems to keep going in circles, the lack of knowledge and acceptance of Autism in the general population, the stares when your child starts flapping and making odd noises in the middle of the store, not able to have time with your spouse on a regular basis, not having any idea what the future possibly holds because there is no research yet to tell you, and I could keep going on and on and on.
Then after I write this, I look over at Brycen giggling while he is watching a Thomas the Train episode...and I get tears in my eyes because I would never trade him for any other child in the world! So I guess I also don't want anyone to walk in my shoes or live in my house because I don't want to share this precious child that was given to me for a reason only God knows.