The First Days of Kindergarten

It still seems unreal that Brycen is old enough to be in kindergarten!  It is so true what they say that time goes so much faster once you have kids. 

Earlier this week, we took both kids to the school for their open house and to meet the teachers.  Leaving the house didn't go so well that evening as Brycen was not happy about going to the school.  He knew it just wasn't part of his routine going around supper time.  Once we got to the school and when Daddy met us there after work, he was much better and enjoyed being in each room.  Since he will be in both the special education room and the general kindergarten room, we had two teachers/rooms to visit, as well as the room for Aubree's 3 year preschool that will start in a week.

I knew that Thursday morning would be very hard for him...so I spaced the morning preparation out throughout the evening before and morning. I packed his bag the night before and showed him that and what he was going to wear. After breakfast, I then proceeded to getting dressed which was quite the challenge between the hitting and running from me. Aubree and I tried to get him excited with a "kindergarten" song in imitation of an episode of Curious George, but he just yelled at us more. Eventually he did put on his new school shoes and very reluctantly carried his backpack out to the car. As soon as he saw the camera, he took off running out the door and even showed me when he is mad enough, he can open the car door by himself! I was NOT ready for that yet (though Daddy disagrees and thinks it's a good milestone for him). As you can see below, I did finally get a few pictures of him but of course not typical "first day of school" pictures:(

Showing me his new skill of opening the car door on his own (while trying to get away from the camera)

Signing "all done" over and over as he really did not want to be bothered with the camera.  Isn't this morning stressful enough, Mommy?

FINALLY a decent picture after I had him trapped in the car and snapped it very quickly when he looked at me.

When I picked him up from school yesterday, he was all smiles!  Since daddy couldn't be with us, I took him to daddy's work so we could read Brycen's communication book together (and the teacher said there was a message on his device for us as well).  I attempted to ask him questions about his day, but he would just smile and look out the window while we drove.  This is the part that really tugged at my heart yesterday!

Today, he was all smiles this morning when I got  him dressed and ready for school.  He got out of the car in the drop-off zone and walked in with an associate with no problems.  When I drove into the line for pick-up, he saw my car and started pointing from the sidewalk which made me excited to see some emotion from him to see me.  Again, he of course could not answer my questions about his day though he was smiling again.  When we came home, his teacher had recorded another message about something he did today which I really appreciated!

I know this is a happy time in our lives with a new journey for him starting kindergarten, but it still makes me sad.  Not being able to tell me about his day, if he was sad or mad, what he liked best, what he ate for lunch/snack, and so much more.  I just always took it for granted that I would have those same conversations with my children like my parents had with us after we came home from school.  I really do appreciate the teacher attempting that communication with me though through his device as that does ease the pain a little.  I just wish it was his little voice I could hear telling me about the slide outside or playing on the computer!  I know that as the years go on, many of these types of moments will come up...and I know that the pain is never going to go away.  The pain is different now than it was a couple years ago.  It's not a striking, unbearable pain that overtakes my mind and body for days, weeks, months...but it's a dull ache pain that is just in the back of my heart that reminds me that things are just a little different than what I imagined my life as a parent to be.

If you are reading this and have school age children that can communicate to you, please take the time to talk to them about their day.  Don't take it for granted that they can tell you what made them happy or sad during school!  Then give them a big hug (just like I have done the last two days after picking Brycen up and getting home) and thank God for the blessings that we have all been given!