Since Brycen began regressing over 3 years ago, not only did he sink into his own little world sometimes, but our entire family did. It's hard not to. I became very depressed and needed to seek out professional help to get through those first few months. We had a hard time even saying the word "Autism" aloud to each other. When using that word, it was like admitting that it was final and at this point could only do so much to help him out. It's not that we didn't have hope for what he could accomplish and overcome, and we read so many stories about children "recovering" from the very serious symptoms of Autism...but deep down we knew it was a life-long battle Brycen had been thrown into.
With all of those emotions overwhelming us, our relationships with others changed and continue to change. Recently I've attempted to break out of my little shell and try new things with Zumba, YMCA, & meeting new people. While I very much enjoy those things and the people I have met, I just can't break away from our "own little world." We can't get just any babysitter for Brycen...we can't go to just any event with him...we have to keep a routine schedule to prevent chaos from happening...we can't go to certain public places with him for fear of his running from us. Unfortunately, this has probably put a little damper on our social lives and we know many people don't really get it. Don't get me wrong, quite a few people do! But when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, I actually have very few people in my physical surroundings that will ever get it.
I'm not ready to throw away all of my past, present, and future relationships because Autism has pushed us into our "own little world", but sometimes a shove here or there is not able to be prevented by me. This ends up meaning as much as we want to keep our life routine as we know that enables Brycen to conquer the days a little better, it's inevitable that our life will also be full of inconsistencies. It may be weeks before I see a good friend or be able to exercise as much as I want to. As much as I want to be motivated to take care of myself and to establish meaningful relationships where I want to be a consistent part of their life, I just don't have as much control over that anymore. Some friends will get it, some won't. Some relationships will continue as consistent as possible, some very sporadic, or some will just fade away. I want to do it all and be it all to everybody, but I know Autism will never allow me to be that way. No matter how much I blog or talk about how Autism affects our life good and bad, I'm not sure anyone (besides other parents of children on the spectrum) will truly get how 24/7 it is.
No one is to blame for those relationships that have faded. Our lives have pulled us in separate directions. The direction we are in and heading to is not going to turn back, so I expect the same will happen with some of the present relationships I have as well as many in the future. I'm not sure if it's some of the lack of social skills rubbing off on me from dealing with Autism 24/7 for years, if it means I am selfish, if it's just being a mother to a special need's child...or maybe a combination of all 3...but it's not really upsetting to me anymore like it was 3 years ago. It's life...it's our "own little world."
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."
Helen Keller
Thursday, April 12, 2012
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Autism and Our Family
"Autism"----It's one word that can change the life of a child and family in so many ways. Autism Spectrum Disorders are being diagnosed at a rate of 1 in 68 children currently. If you do not already know someone that has been diagnosed, the statistics say it won't be long before you do.
Our son developed typically until around the time he turned 2 years old. We heard words...we saw him play with other kids...we watched as he played with his toys appropriately...we made eye contact with him...overall we understood his wants and needs. In a matter of a few months, that was all taken away from him. He began lining up toys, lost all of his words and signs except for one word "ball", ignored other kids, could not sleep through the night, lost eye contact and the ability to follow directions, and he had no way of letting us know what he wanted or how he felt. It was heartbreaking to see something happening to our child that we couldn't stop!
Brycen began receiving home therapy 1-2 times per month for about 6 months before we realized it wasn't just developmental delays. We knew it was Autism...we just didn't want to say it outloud to anyone. He was officially diagnosed with Autism (classic form and regressive), as well as Mental Retardation in August 2009 by the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.
We continue to learn as we make our way through this journey with Brycen and we will continue to share this journey with you on this blog! The blog has been a great therapy for us to be able to vent our frustrations and struggles with accepting that we have a child with special needs, while sharing how blessed we are to have a child teach us what life truly means. It has also been a great way to inform others of his progress and changes over the last couple of years.
Thank you for your support of Brycen and our family! We hope you are able to learn something through this blog no matter if you are a parent of a child with special needs or a neurotypical child, a teacher or therapist, a family member, or just someone that is interested in the journey that a family goes on as they learn their child is battling a life-long disorder.
Our son developed typically until around the time he turned 2 years old. We heard words...we saw him play with other kids...we watched as he played with his toys appropriately...we made eye contact with him...overall we understood his wants and needs. In a matter of a few months, that was all taken away from him. He began lining up toys, lost all of his words and signs except for one word "ball", ignored other kids, could not sleep through the night, lost eye contact and the ability to follow directions, and he had no way of letting us know what he wanted or how he felt. It was heartbreaking to see something happening to our child that we couldn't stop!
Brycen began receiving home therapy 1-2 times per month for about 6 months before we realized it wasn't just developmental delays. We knew it was Autism...we just didn't want to say it outloud to anyone. He was officially diagnosed with Autism (classic form and regressive), as well as Mental Retardation in August 2009 by the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.
We continue to learn as we make our way through this journey with Brycen and we will continue to share this journey with you on this blog! The blog has been a great therapy for us to be able to vent our frustrations and struggles with accepting that we have a child with special needs, while sharing how blessed we are to have a child teach us what life truly means. It has also been a great way to inform others of his progress and changes over the last couple of years.
Thank you for your support of Brycen and our family! We hope you are able to learn something through this blog no matter if you are a parent of a child with special needs or a neurotypical child, a teacher or therapist, a family member, or just someone that is interested in the journey that a family goes on as they learn their child is battling a life-long disorder.
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