A glimpse of what could be

As you all know, Brycen can be challenging one moment and then be a perfect angel the next! Just like any other preschooler! Last night, he actually gave me a very small glimpse into what he actually can do with the right discipline and when he is in the right mood.
First of all, while I was trying to get some things done around the house, Brycen and Aubree decided to play a "game." Aubree would hide behind the easel in Brycen's room and Brycen would come out and pretend to look around for her. At least this is what I believe they were doing since neither can tell me what was really going on. I would then walk back to Brycen's room, "find" Aubree, and make a big deal about playing Hide & Seek. They both would laugh and then do the same thing again about 5 more times. This gave me a little glimpse into the way they can play together as siblings and also a little of creative play on Brycen's part.
Then we went downstairs to the playroom after supper so they could burn off a little energy before having to pack it up for their 2nd H1N1 shots and the grocery store. Brycen does not appreciate when anybody, especially his little sister, disrupts his line of trucks, cars, and trains. Of course, Aubree also doesn't appreciate that Brycen takes all of these toys for himself and allows her not to have a single one! So, Aubree went to grab one for herself and Brycen pushed her down and she bumped her nose and cheek on the corner of the table. Typically, we do not use time-outs with Brycen because they have not worked...so usually we remove either the toy that is causing the problem or remove him from the situation. Well, I was really upset about what he did for obvious reasons and I told him to go sit in the chair for a time-out not really expecting him to do it but I had to do something to make myself feel better and to show Aubree that I was trying to discipline him for being mean to her. Surprisingly, he actually walked over to the chair and sat down....for 45 seconds! Not as long as he should have for the typical child his age, but anything over 2 seconds is an accomplishment for him! I then told him what he did wrong and that he needed to give Aubree a hug and kiss because he gave her an owie. And guess what? He did as I asked...and then he nicely touched her head before he went to the other side of the room to once again begin lining up his toys. Now, this same thing could have happened the day before and he would never have responded that well to the discipline.
This is the glimpse into what we feel he can achieve and how it seems like for a few seconds or minutes occasionally, he is actually understanding the world around him! The hard part of this is the hope I get following a moment like this...and then the heartbreak I feel when weeks go by without another glimpse.
My friend, Angie, blogged recently about what has been taken away when regressive autism sets in. As our children reach toddlerhood, we begin to hear words, see relationships form, and watch as our children play appropriately with toys and are creative...and then in a matter of days, weeks, couple months it all disappears! We were given a glimpse of what they were and now nobody can tell us if we will ever see that again. We have a lot of home videos of Brycen during those times...but I don't have the heart to watch them yet. I know it will hurt to see the little boy he was before this horrible thing called Autism took over his brain and his body. But maybe those home videos are what the doctors will be able to use in the future to find a cure, find a reason it happened, or find anything to help these children to go back to the way they were!