A glimpse into our nights

I know we have always talked about how Brycen has sleep issues, but we have never given an idea of how it all plays out. So since Mike has been on the other side of the state for a few weeks now, I have been the one to get up with Brycen during the night now. In the past 11 nights, Brycen has been up during 8 of them. We have the same routine each night (with the addition of bath every 2-3 nights) and he only naps on select days when we can tell it is really wearing on him (naps typically make the following night worse than usual).

So here it is...we start picking up toys around 7 or 7:15pm and then move into the bedroom to get our pajamas and overnight diaper on (it's thicker to help prevent him from leaking out on most nights). He then sits at the table in the same spot for his 1 tbsp of liquid Melatonin mixed with 6 oz of juice and a snack. We then attempt to brush teeth...sometimes it goes well, sometimes it is a pain. After teeth, he gets his blanket and sits in the rocking chair while waiting for me to finish with Aubree so I can then rock him.

Let's take a quick break to discuss the rocking: Brycen has put himself to sleep in the past on occasion but we are finding he gets very upset when we are not near him as he falls asleep and the rocking seems to soothe him just like with babies. Remember he is pretty much a baby in a 4 yr olds body so this works for him and it works for us. I know some people have made comments in the past that this is inappropriate for his age and we are setting him up for never learning to fall asleep on his own...but my answer to them is: Do they have a child with Autism and sleep issues and do they want to come over to my house to battle 2-3 hours of bedtime every single night?

So after he falls asleep, I lay him in his bed. On the good nights, he will fall asleep around 8pm and sleep until anywhere from 4-6am! Most often though, his nights are broken up. I have been keeping track the last 11 nights, and it seems like he wakes up like clockwork between midnight and 1am. I am guessing this is when the Melatonin has been metabolized and his brain no longer has something telling him to stay asleep. He comes running in to me with his pillow and blanket and I let him lay with me. I have attempted to put him back to bed, but this results in screaming and hitting (thus not a good option when you have another child asleep only a few feet away). So, I have either let him lay with me or lay on the couch, or have even tried rocking him. After a few nights, I have realized not to even attempt to get him to sleep for at least an hour. He is wide awake and full of sensory-seeking at this time. Rubbing his hair or patting his back or arm sometimes keeps him from moving around and staying calm. We don't allow him to play with toys, we don't turn on lights or the TV, we don't talk to him (besides telling him to close his eyes and sleep ) or give him a drink or snack...all so we are not giving him any ideas that it is time to wake up.

This picture was taken on a night when he finally crashed after 3 1/2 hours on the living room floor. I had given up on rocking him and he wouldn't lay on the couch by himself so he sat in the middle of the living room floor until he just collapsed into a ball and fell asleep.

The time he is awake has ranged from 2 to 3 1/2 hours each of these nights and he has been awake most mornings around 6am for the day. So if you calculate it out, he is getting possibly 4 hours of sleep during the first stretch, and another 3-4 hours during the second stretch. The recommended amount of sleep for a 4 yr old is 10-13 hours a day. Brycen rarely even gets that 10 hours and I can't think of a time recently he has come close to 13. I do understand that like adults, all children are different in how much sleep they need but my child isn't even reaching the minimum of that average the majority of time.

Now to the next question of sleep medications. Sleep medications are only intended for adults due to an addictive ingredient that is usually in them (hence the warning on most meds that say not for long term use or use no more than 7 days without talking to your doctor). There are a couple of meds that have been prescribed for children with sleep issues, but these meds aren't even a sleep med. The one that I know if is a high-blood pressure med called Clonidine. When the time comes, this will probably be the medication we choose to try...but we have reservations about putting a 4 yr old that weighs a lot less than most kids his age on a prescribed medication that isn't even marketed for the purpose of sleeping.

So all in all I am exhausted!! I am looking forward to a break this weekend when Mike comes home for a couple nights...though I'm sure my body has now been trained for minimal sleep so I'll probably be awake right along with both of them anyway.