Mission Accomplished: New house & new town!

The kids' bedroom upstairs

We are settling into our new house and new town this week!  Brycen has done fabulous so far with adjusting to spending a couple days with Grandma before being introduced to his new home.  When he walked into the house on Wednesday, he walked from room to room...checked over his movies in the living room, noticed his toys in the front porch, and then went upstairs to find his bedroom.  He made himself at home right away with wrestling his pillows around:) 

The reading/puzzle area at the top of the stairs

Though the new house is smaller than our old house, it still has some unique areas that allow the kids to be spread out.  They will be sharing a huge bedroom, though each has their own space and side of the room, as well as they have a toy room/porch and a reading/puzzle room at the top of the stairs.  They both have adjusted amazingly well...proving that by falling asleep on their own the first night with no problems in their new room!  The trick to these moves is to move fast and get organized even faster so that when they (especially Brycen) is brought into the new house, they see their belongings already set up and we can immediately go back to our regular routine. 

One side of the large porch area that is now the play room!

We're excited for the opportunities in this new town!  Excited to increase Brycen's therapy schedule next week to three times per week (Mon, Wed, & Thurs) for up to 1 hr 20 min each time (split between speech and OT).  His extended school year schedule is quite different here and he will start meeting with a special education teacher next week.  The schedule will be on Tues and Thurs until beginning of August to introduce him to the new school, surroundings, and include some socialization time with other children there for part of his time. 

Mike's hours have increased at the store along with more responsibilities which is a good challenge for all of us.  The kids and I look forward to walking the 1.5 miles to the store to see him each week, as well as walking to Brycen's therapy which is now only 1.25 miles away (yay for saving tons of gas money!).  We are looking forward to spending time with some old friends that live here, as well as some of Mike's extended family that lives in the surrounding towns.  Aubree is possibly going to attend preschool in the mornings starting in August as well (if I get moving on signing her up!).

This was a great change for us and we look forward to the new challenges it will bring, as well as enjoying our time together again after several weeks apart.  We are going to be very happy here!

"Autism Rocks...

...and rolls and spins and flaps and loves and laughs."

I saw this quote recently on multiple websites/blogs but can't seem to find the person that said it.  This really describes Brycen right now...literally!  For the past few weeks, he has been on constant stimming-mode, very aggressive, not transitioning well, not accepting change, etc.  When we first started his medication a few months ago, many of these things decreased.  We know that these things are never going to disappear, but our goal is to minimize what we can so it is not interfering into his daily life as much.  At his last appointment with the child psychiatrist, we discussed the option of increasing his dosage as summer approached knowing how routine changes can affect him.  It's not that I want to continually rely on medication to help him, but it's obvious that he benefited from starting the medication many months ago.  Well, with the recent changes in our lives, we are starting to see increase in the stimming again, as well as his irritability and not accepting the changes he was accepting before.  I put a call into the nurse and she just called back to say it's ok to increase to 6mg instead of 4mg of the Fluoxetine, so we will be starting that tonight already.  It would be great if we could go back to 4mg after we are moved and settled into a new routine, but if not, that's ok too.

The plans for our move are coming along well!  I am taking Brycen to a new therapy clinic in the new town next week for an evaluation, and will also be meeting with the new school to discuss plans for that change.  We have found a rental house in town so we will be officially moving over June 14/15.  His respite and SCL services will be staying the same, and the paperwork is already moving forward for his transfer to Jackson County Case Management.  I still have multiple places to call regarding his services, but these were the most important ones for him so I'm feeling accomplished at this moment. 

Over the last year, I have had many people ask me the question about why we choose to continue with the moves with my husband's company when we know that Brycen has a hard time with change.  Honestly, my answer varies on the day.  Sometimes I think it is not the best for him, and other days I feel like throwing change at him is just preparing him for the real world.  I know that my husband's job provides us with financial stability, a family-friendly company, good insurance, and in several years will give us the opportunity to be settled in one town.  Every family makes sacrifices to better their lives and this is one that we signed up for before Brycen was even born, which means obviously before he regressed and was diagnosed with Autism.  We choose to continue on this path knowing the final outcome will be great for all of us, especially Brycen.  The changes that come along the way will present him with many, many challenges...but challenges make us better people, including a child with Autism.  Life doesn't always go as we would like and I cannot protect him from the inevitable change he will face throughout life, so I feel that preparing him with regular change now when he is young will help him adapt and accept later in life. 

Moving AGAIN!

As most of you know from my FB page, Mike is being transferred to a new store already.  He was promoted to 2nd Assistant Manager (a new position that the company created about a year ago that only select stores will have depending on how busy and big they are) in a store that is almost 2 hours away from here.  We are so happy to be able to stay on the eastern side of the state though so we are still within 2 hours driving to both sets of parents!  Mike was only at this store for 9 months, and the kids and I had only been here for 7 months before receiving this news.  Just so you know, this short of time between moves is NOT typical of the company...it's usually more like 2-4 years, but when the company feels like they have found the right fit for someone to advance, they will move you when needed.

In addition to finding a new rental house (thank you to some old Fareway friends that are already in the new store that helped with this!) and of course moving our entire family and belongings, we also have the additional tasks of moving all of Brycen's services and therapies to the new town.  Some of you are familiar with what this all includes, but most of you probably aren't so I'll provide a "brief" summary of what my list right now consists of pertaining to Brycen ONLY:

• Brycen's Case Management will be transferred from Clayton County to Jackson County so he will have a new Case Manager to oversea his waiver services (respite, SCL, etc)
• Social Security will need documentation of our new residence and income changes (Mike receives a pay raise with the move as well as he will be scheduled more hours each week than he was as a full-time managment program employee) as that will all change.
• Respite services will hopefully stay the same with my old employer and my mom will stay as the staff if they will allow (they currently do not serve anyone in that area of the state)
• SCL services will still be through the CCO program and my mom as the staff...and I JUST received an email from the broker here in NE Iowa and she said she is able to stay with him also so I can cross this off my list besides having to change our residence and phone number with the broker and Veridian who oversees the payment to my mom for her hours worked.
• Therapy services (speech and OT) need to be located in the area...our current SLP at the hospital is helping with this and we just found a lead on a great place in the town.  Otherwise we will have to drive him at least 30 miles to a therapy clinic that works with pediatrics.  Cross your fingers for the local clinic to work out!
• Pharmacy change with his medications
• U of I genetics will need to be changed since we are under their care right now with testing
• Psychiatrist will either need to be changed or since she is located out of Cedar Rapids (she travels one day per week to our current area), we may just drive to continue to see her so we have one less change
• New physician needs to be found right away to transfer all of his scripts for diapers and therapy to new town
• Medicaid will need to be informed of his residence change.
• Activ Style will need to be informed of his residence change and provided with new script for his diapers
• Transportation company will need to be informed of his residence change and special approval required for reimbursement if we need to take him out of the county for any doctors or therapies
• Most importantly, his educational needs will be transferred to the local district including the new IEP that our current team worked so hard on these last few weeks so he will be in special education services, intergrated into the general education room with a 1:1 paraprofessional all day, as well as speech and OT included in his educational services.

Phew!  Of course I have another list that is just the basic moving things like insurance, utilities, credit cards, bank accounts, etc.  I know I've said this before but after looking at this list typed out, it really does make one think that having a special needs child and managing all of their day-to-day services is a full-time job in itself!  I love being involved in his services though and I am very grateful for the education and work experience I had prior to his regression and diagnosis so I know what needs to be done and how to stay on top of the basics.  It does make some of this a lot easier having 10 years of experience of working in the field...though no education or work really prepares you for the job of 24 hours of special needs, just like babysitting a baby for a few hours does not really prepare you for the 24 hour job of having a newborn baby. 

I'm trying to think positive about this move despite it happening so fast.  Each day I am finding more and more things that will be easier once we move such as the decreased travel time/gas money for Mike to get to work, to get Brycen to school, and hopefully to get him to therapy as well.  We already know one Fareway family in the area, as well as Mike has extended family that live within a half hour of the new town (thanks to his aunt/uncle that are letting him stay at their house over these few weeks until we move!!) so we feel that we will have some immediate support in the area.
 
I'll keep everybody updated on the changes with Brycen as they happen...and of course let you know how he accepts the actual move and many changes in his life as he adjusts to all of this!

New town, new house, new school...calls for a whole new routine

The last two weeks have been absolutely crazy! We pride ourselves in keeping a predictable routine for Brycen as we know he relies on this to thrive and be comfortable in his surroundings.

Those who know him know how he can get stuck in a routine and if one little thing happens, it can be disaster for the next several days. Those who know him also know that he can surprise us with adapting to change when we least expect it.

Mike and I worked hard at unpacking the entire house (except for some select boxes of wall hangings and such) from the time the truck delivered on that Wednesday morning and I drove the almost 4 hours from SL to Strawberry Pt, until Thursday afternoon when the kids arrived with my parents. It was non-stop work...exhausting! We knew if we were going to have any luck at Brycen adjusting, we had to make him comfortable from the beginning which meant he could not see the new house without his belongings set up and ready for him.

We also knew he would be adjusting to a new school, new teachers, new town, new therapists and hospital, around him at the same time. All of this change would be hard for any child, any adult...and here we are, forcing so much on him at one time.

I am so happy to share with everybody that Brycen has exceeded our expectations in adjusting to everything! There was a bit of a rough start to school with him being very attached when we did an initial visit that Friday morning, and with him crying when I left him there the following Monday morning...but that was it. He eagerly gets his backpack and shoes when I tell him in the morning, walks into the school with a smile, and waves/says "bye" to me with prompts when I leave. He also rode the school van home today with NO PROTESTING! Our goal is for him to be able to ride to and from school every day. The van driver did tell me he became a little upset when she turned off the main road to drop off another little girl first...but he did calm down when she reassured him he goes home next. Amazing how only a week of going back and forth to school and he knows the direct route to our house!!

Not only has this adjustment went well, he has also proved to us that he can fall asleep on his own. We knew we did not want to carry him up the stairs to his room after rocking him every night, so we decided to put the rocking chair in his room just in case. We did rock the first night we were here, and he protested the rocking in his room at first. He is so used to rocking while I am watching TV and he kept trying to get down and wanted to leave his room. I decided I was not going through the fight every night and would just have to figure out a new routine at night for him. So the following two nights when Mike was at work closing the store, I vowed to myself that I would make him lay in bed to fall asleep no matter how upset he got or how guilty I felt. He surprised me in not protesting laying in bed at all by himself. The first two nights were very busy and time-consuming, as I would tell him I would be right back and leave the room for a minute. I gradually worked up to about 10 minutes and he fell asleep! I think I went in and out about 8 times the first night...and only about 5 times the second night. Now, over a week later, he is still doing this every single night and now we only have to go in 2-3 times before he falls asleep!

Now, as I type, we are preparing for his first appointment at the Manchester hospital for his speech and Occupational therapy this afternoon at 2. I'm going with no expectations, knowing he has proved me wrong lately in that he can fall asleep on his own and he can ride the van home from school with no problems. I know there could be protesting to a new environment and new people he will work with...but if this is the only negative reaction we see to all of this change, it reassures me that he and we have made a whole lot of progress in the last year in this area!

Moving...the biggest transition of all!

Everybody knows that Brycen does not do well with transitions most of the time. He gets mad on the weekends when I don't get him dressed right away because he thinks he needs to go to school. He'll cry, pull at the door, get his shoes, throw things, hit me, etc for sometimes an hour before he realizes it's ok and we have other things to do.
I am so, so, so nervous for this afternoon when he comes to the new house for the first time. I am also very excited, but the nerves have pretty much taken over my body and I wish some Autism-God could tell me it's going to be ok.
I tried to put off as much packing as possible of the visible things to help guide him through this. He would watch me pack boxes, follow me around, look inside and a few times he even grabbed things out that I was putting in. Unfortunately due to meetings on the day before the move, I was forced to do a bunch of packing in his presence the last couple days. Overall, he did ok. When I think back, I notice he was definitely more hyperactive, more irritable and crying over smaller things than normal, and like I predicted, even more aggressive towards Aubree. But overall, it wasn't that bad. He has spent the last several days with my parents in Evansdale as we knew we could not allow him to see our belongings moved onto a big semi. Though I did figure, he would have loved to see the semi parked in front of our house...but I did not even entertain the thought of having him at either house for the pack up and unload. We also have not allowed him to see the new house before this as we have determined it is easier for him to accept the new house with his belongings in it, instead of a new house with the previous tenants belongings or empty.
So today is a big, big day for him! The last time we moved to the different house in SL, he was still regressing and we weren't sure what was going on. The move before that to Storm Lake, he wasn't even one years old yet, so as you know, he was still considered "neuro-typical" at that time. It really didn't phase him then. A lot has changed in the last couple years and we need to protect him more than ever from these upcoming transitions.
So while this move is very exciting and very much needed for us at this time, the next 10 or so years of our life will be a roller coaster for Brycen, as each move will probably present different challenges as he gets older. Even if he walks into the house, running and happy today...we know that doesn't mean the transition is over. It's actually just begun as he has a new school to start at, new neighborhood and parks to get used to, new therapists to work with, new Fareway store to put together with where we can find Daddy now, new Wal-mart with different layout, new everything. While some kids wouldn't even be phased at a new store they visited, I'm not sure how Brycen will grasp and comprehend his Daddy in a whole different environment. The transition will probably take months.
I've had multiple people email or ask me how I think he will handle it. That's the thing with Autism, you just never know. It could go far better than expected, or far worse than expected...so I guess we just don't set expectations for things like this because nobody can predict anything. He may be fine for a week or two, and then all of a sudden have two meltdowns in a week or refuse to go to school willingly, or cry/make more noises. OR this could be a fantastic environment for him and maybe we will see an improvement in speech right away! Nobody knows...so I'm not ignoring your question (well, actually I am!), but I really can't answer that because I really don't even want to think past getting him through the first glance and walk through of his new home. Everything else we will just take day by day, minute by minute if needed.

Preparing for the transition ahead!

We're moving!!
Mike has been transferred to the Manchester store and began working at the new store 5 days after the transfer was presented to us. The kids and I will not be moving until the end of September for various reasons.
We are so excited for this time to come and for it to be to an area of the state that we are familiar with! Both of our families are going to be within an hour of us, Manchester also has a pediatric therapy clinic at their hospital similar to the one that Brycen receives therapy from currently, and we found a fabulous and huge rental home in Strawberry Point where the kids will have their own rooms, as well as a large yard and a play room!
With all this excitement also comes a lot of stress. It's no secret that Brycen does not embrace change and transitions are very difficult for him. We've decided that Brycen will not see the rental house until we have all of our stuff moved in and his room and toys are set up. We also decided it is not a good idea for him to be here the couple days before and while the movers are here to prevent him from stressing about his stuff being packed up and taken onto the truck. The first two days of Daddy being gone were fine...didn't even seem like Brycen noticed (no offense, daddy!). The last several days have been difficult. He is more aggressive, not sleeping as well, throwing tantrums...just not adjusting well to all the change around him. Little does he know that this is just the beginning!
Oh, I almost forgot to mention my phone call to what will be his new school in the Starmont school district! When I called, they immediately transferred me to the principal which I was so impressed with (note I have never even met, nor talked to the principal at his current school). She is taking care of everything for me! All we have to do is have Mike go in to fill out registration papers and give them a copy of his vaccination dates and latest physical. Before I made this call, I was dreading all the work that will be involved with transferring a child with an IEP and special needs to a new school across the state. It is such a relief to know that AEA and the school takes care of those things! Brycen will continue in a classroom that is half general education and half with IEP's with about 12 children total once there. The most wonderful thing the principal said to me during this conversation is when she asked "Should we take pictures of the classroom and teachers to send to Brycen ahead of time for the transition?" I immediately fell in love with this principal and her obvious knowledge of Autism and difficulty transitioning. For her to offer to do this specifically for him is so encouraging to me of the type of district he is going into! I look forward to meeting her and seeing him thrive in the new school!